Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
