9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
