Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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