I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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