So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
