woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
