ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
