i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
