I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
