my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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