By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
