Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
