Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
