Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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