I wannas sexs uuuuu
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
