I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
