I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
