No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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