Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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