i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
