i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
