And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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