I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
