THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
