K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
