Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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