Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
