i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
