Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
