I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
