i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
