I wish I could punch you in the face.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
