Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
