The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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