the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
