Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
