Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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