You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
