What a fucking waste of an outfit
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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