Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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