in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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