What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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