he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
and i looked up. we had an audience...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i out mim tonsoeep
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