Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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