I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
