yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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