By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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