your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
