LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
