D3 body, D1 cock
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
