You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
they're like a gay fantastic four
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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