so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
