U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
